Like all of us, I've been thinking a lot about the past year. It's been a big one. A year of firsts. A year with little news, but lots of growth. And I think, after a lot of thinking and journaling and breathing, that I'm okay with that.
For the first time, I finished a novel I was proud of. I'd done one other novel, but it didn't get the point A TEAR BETWEEN WORLDS got to. I never revised it. Never re-wrote it. Never cried and ached and laughed over it. In 2012, I did it.
I got rejected.
I got requests.
I got more rejections.
And I'm still querying.
It's been hard. When people didn't believe in my book, I started to lose faith in it. I started to say, maybe this isn't the one. Maybe I only wrote it for me. Maybe next year. Maybe this next one I've started on will get me where I want to be.
And you know what? Maybe all of that will end up being true, but I don't think it's what matters.
I write because it's part of who I am. I love stories. I want to tell them. I want them to be real. Hell, I want me to be real. That's what I want for 2013. To keep writing even when it gets discouraging. To keep telling stories and getting to know characters who force me to face my own fears and doubts and questions. To keep believing in myself.
My NaNo project has been on the shelf since the end of November. Last month was a whirlwind, with no time to write. But now that January is here, I've begun the research I probably should have completed before NaNo, and I'm really excited about where this book can go.
So I think for 2013, I won't have goals or resolutions. I think I'll just keep being me. I'll keep writing. I'll keep blogging. I'll keep living. And I won't lose faith in myself (at least not for more than a week at a time).
You guys are the best. I hope 2013 is a year of growing and stretching and breathing. I hope it's real for you.