It’s the end of the year, which means it’s time to reflect.
You guys, 2015 has been a very strange year. I started the beginning of the year knowing I had to have a change—the stress level at my job was killing me. I developed health problems I’d never had before. My relationships were struggling. All around rough. I landed and started a new job, which was and has been great.
But then my grandmother died. And then I developed migraines. And then my husband broke his wrist. Now, on the other end of all of these things (and the associated medical bills and heartache), I’m pretty glad the year’s over.
And then there’s the writing. I think we all dream to be that person who gets an agent with their first query and then lands a book deal a few short weeks later. Not my story. My agent (who signed me on the second book I queried a full 9 months after I started querying that particular book) started submitting my book in January, and we’re still on submission.
It hasn’t sold yet, but I’m actually okay with this (mostly...the way any writer can be). After editor feedback, we’ve done a few rounds of revisions, and my story is in a completely different place than it was when we went on submission. It’s so. Much. Better.
And here’s the thing (I sort of hate typing this, but I’m going to do it): If this book doesn’t sell, those revisions will still be worth it. The story is better. I feel like I’ve given it the writing it deserves, the POV it deserves, the voice it deserves. None of that would’ve happened had it sold out of the gate. (For the record, I didn't just come to this point easily. In fact, I battle it a lot, but if I keep telling this to myself I will believe it).
Last year I made some goals for myself, and I’ve decided that New Year’s resolutions and goals aren’t really my thing. I mean, I accomplished some of them, but here at the end of the year I’m a different person than I was when I made those goals. They don’t have the same weight or meaning to me now as they did then.
So instead of specific goals, I want to be a little less concrete. In 2016, I want to be kinder (to the people I love and the people I flip off on the interstate). I want to be more available--call my family more, have more girls' nights, watch a movie without feeling like I should be doing something else. I want to take better care of my time. Those extra fifteen minutes when I hit snooze? I wake up more tired and then the dishes don't get done. It's amazing the sense of accomplishment when I put a few dishes in the dishwasher before I leave for work.
Mostly, I think I just want to live more. Fear less. Love. Laugh. Write. Read. I want to enjoy life, because if I don't, what's the point?
Happy New Year.